


Teen Heat

by NewYorkForMePlease



Category: First Girl I Loved (2016)
Genre: Coming Out, Eventual Smut?, Eventual good ending?, F/F, First Girl I Loved, Gay Panic, Lesbian, Memories, Realizing, Teenagers, f/f - Freeform, movie, she thinks it's a phase but honey you got a big storm coming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 14:14:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13078587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NewYorkForMePlease/pseuds/NewYorkForMePlease
Summary: Sasha Basanez is 18 and terrified. Terrified of the world, of herself, of Anne, and what it all means. She wants to run from Anne and run to her at the same time. She can't run from herself from much longer. On the brink of adulthood Sasha finally begins to come to grips with herself and her magnetic attraction to AnneThis is essentially a coming out story for Sasha. The work will chronicle her struggles primarily with coming out to herself and others and with exploring her feelings for Anne. Right now it's a one shot but if I get some inspiration or there seems to be any interest I might add on to it.





	Teen Heat

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Thank you so much for reading my story. This is actually my first fanfic ever so don't judge me too harshly. If you have any suggestions or critiques please let me know I would love to get some feedback. This story is actually pretty personal for me and I imagine if I continue with it a lot of it will probably end up drawing from my own life. I really loved the movie and I just wanted to explore the world that it created. Anyways thank you once again!!!!

Sasha dropped her head into her pillow in exasperation, her brunette curls spilling over her polka dotted sham. She had felt something gnawing in the pit of her stomach and contracting her hips all evening. She felt something in between dread and…….what was it…...warmth. 

She blanched and felt the tips of her ears flush with heat at just the memory of the last few hours. She remembered saying goodbye to Anne with a voice at least two octaves higher than usual and a body filled with electricity and nervous energy. Anne had ghosted her mouth over the sides of her face all too quickly and Sasha recalled asking Anne to let her try. She couldn’t believe that she had actually asked her that. Her mouth was saying the words before she could even stop herself and Anne was moving close to her once again. She had smelt like toothpaste and salt. Anne’s long hair tickled Sasha’s brow as she brought her lips to her cheek to just barely kiss her skin. She stayed near her like that for just a moment, she swore she could feel Anne’s pulse in the heavy air between them. Sasha pulled away from Anne, a wave of warmth shot through her body and left her brain a stupefied blank slate. Sasha had grinned at Anne like an idiot and the memory hadn’t been lost on her as she groaned into her pillow. 

She knew something was going on. Her mind dimly acknowledged she had a thing for Anne but what that thing was she wouldn’t allow herself to contemplate. She lay on her back with closed eyes and let her mind just sink into the feeling, the warmth. 

Sasha sighed as her body relaxed into her comforter, a reflexive smile sweetly spread across her face, as her hands slid down her torso gripping her waist and stretched her rib cage in the most delicious way. Her hands slipped down to her hips, her thumbs hooking into the notches of her pelvis. Her fingers fanned around to inch up the soft angles of her stomach before dipping into her loose shorts and softly running over the elastic band of her underwear. She sighed the scent of toothpaste and salt still clinging to her nostrils. Suddenly, her fingers were moving against herself over damp underwear, faintly feeling the outline of herself beneath. It was good, too good. She was uncontrollably smiling and her body had just begun to bow off the bed when her middle finger had caught just the right place eliciting a quiet breathy gasp from her mouth. She threw her hand over a mouth and yanked her other hand out of her shorts and over her wildly beating heart.

What was she doing?  
What the hell was she doing? 

She had been thinking about Anne and suddenly her hands were in between her legs.

What the hell? 

An entirely different warmth spread up her body and turned her limbs into lead. She was gonna be sick. Sasha’s body prickled in an unbearable clammy heat. She clambered into the bathroom connected to her bedroom. The florescent lights of the bathroom as she gripped the counter, stripped off her clothes, and albeit threw herself into the shower. Sasha slid down the wall and let the hot water run over her as she slowed down her breathing.

What was going on? 

She’d never felt like this before. She’d never really thought of anyone when she’d done….well...that. Before she even knew what she was doing she was crying. Her tears mixed in with the warm rain of the shower almost seamlessly as her chest heaved. 

What about Dylan? 

Yea, What about Dylan?

She grasped almost violently for some proof that she was wrong. She’d gone on one solitary date with Dylan in 8th grade. They’d danced most of the night away at the Spring Dance of ‘11. They hadn’t even kissed. Hell they hadn’t even been alone the whole night long. She hadn’t even gone on a date since then.  
Her friends would tell her that what’s-his-face liked her and they’d start texting. He’d make small talk, ask her about her family, her favorite band, until she just stopped responding. She’d realize a week later that she hadn’t responded to what’s-his-face’s question about what five things she’d absolutely need if she were stranded on a desert island and she’d feel a little guilty but ultimately do nothing. That was her pattern. Flirt half-heartedly and eventually avoid any guy that showed the slightest bit of interest. Her mind was moving too fast, her mind was moving rapidly towards the places she desperately didn’t want it to go.

All of a sudden she was a high school freshman at an away soft ball game in Orange county. The game had fallen on the same Friday as a football game and a few yards away in an adjacent field, the high school’s cheerleaders were practicing. 

A tall brunette caught her gaze as she leant forward in a stretch, her magenta lips lifted in a sneer, “Damn. I guess what they say about girls who play softball is true?” she jeered crudely. 

Sasha’s teammate Alexis whipped around on the bench and said “And what exactly do they say?” staring down the brunette through the chain link fence. 

The cheerleader rolled her eyes tiredly and put her hand on her hips, “Lesbiansssss” she hissed drawing out the word on the end.

Alexis’ eyes flared, “I guess what they say about Orange County girls being little skanky rich bitches is true. And please lesbians? Have you seen us? You're just scared once your boyfriend sees us he’ll drop your ass!”.

The brunette laughed darkly “Whatever. Just tell your friend I’m not interested.” she said as she gestured to Sasha with her head. 

Alexis shook her head and grabbed Sasha’s shoulder turning both of their backs to her muttering, “fucking bitch” under her breath.

Sasha’s sobs were racking her body now.  
Had she seen something that she hadn’t? Had this been there all along? She couldn’t be this. 

All she could think of was her friends, her family, her mom. Only last week her mother had been going on and on about Sister Clarke’s son and how she just had to meet him because they would hit it off so well. Sasha wanted to throw up. This would kill her mother, the woman who had planned every aspect of her life down to the color her wedding reception napkins would be (ecru). Sasha leaned her head against the slick linoleum and into the warm spray of water. 

Maybe this was okay. Maybe it was just a fleeting thing. Maybe she had confused her feelings for Anne or maybe this was a phase. Maybe it was just Anne and only for now. Maybe it wasn’t serious. She sighed, Anne could just be a placeholder for some boy that she was sure to eventually fall in love with if she could just find him. Sasha ignored the fact that she had never in her entire life had a crush on a boy. Sasha ignored the fact that she had in fact not watched Easy A 300 times in a row in 7th grade just in hopes of seeing Penn Badgley’s (she’d had to google his name in fact) blue spray painted abs no she’d watched that damned movie 300 times just to see Emma Stone in a corset in every other scene (and a fishnets in one). Sasha ignored the boulder that sit in her stomach as she lied to herself. This was temporary, this wasn’t serious, it was fun. Maybe she could have her cake and eat it too. As the panic slowly ebbed out of her body, the soft heat of before creeped in. Anne with her braids, bits of blue hair, and salt perfumed skin were all she could think about as her eyes rolled in the back of her head and a silly smile sprang across her face.


End file.
